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princessshelly's Journal

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

4:57AM - news...

I know that it's been a really, really long time since I've done this thinger. I just got off of the phone with one of my bestfriends, Jessica. I haven't talked to her in weeks, and boy did she have news for me. My other friend, Heather (Jessica's sister)has been going through a rough month. Her husband is in the Army and curently stationed in Afghanistan. I guess there have been rumors going around that Jason(Heather's husband)wants a divorce from her as soon as he gets home. He has also been cheating on her with one of his soldiers. When Heather went to the Lt. he said that they knew that something was going on and that they have launched an investigation. Heather was pissed to find out that all these people knew about these rumors and didn't say anything to her. Oh! Did I forget to mention that she's in charge of their FRG(Family Readiness Group)? All those women knew and didn't say a word. I'm mad and sad. I'm mad at Jason if he really is cheating on my best friend. I'm sad because Heather felt like she couldn't talk to me. Granted she's in Alaska and I'm in Washington. The person who I feel really bad for is their 1 year old son, Brandon. She covered up their problems in their marriage extreemly well. It fooled me. I thought they were happy. Now I know that everyone has problems in their marriage, I just wish that wouldn't have happened to my friend.

Current mood: sad

Friday, March 11, 2005

8:11PM - Eeen's is coming home!!

Eeen is on his way home right now as I type this entry. He called about 4pm and said that he was leaving Ft. Lewis right then. I can't wait for him to be home so we can begin our married life together. Hopefully he'll be home around 9:30 or so. He wants to take me out to see Hitch tonight and celebrate his being home. It's going to be wierd having him home now that I've gotten used to having the apartment to myself and "small dog". Hopefully he'll find a job fairly soon, but if he doesn't I guess we'll have to deal with it. He's friendly, so he shouldn't have any problems finding a job.

Current mood: ecstatic

Thursday, March 10, 2005

6:50AM - Bad mood

So I talked to Eeen today. I woke him up when I called. I guess he went out last night with a few of the guys and had a few drinks. I don't understand, he can go out with his friends and have a few drinks, but as soon as I go out with my friends then he gets all pissed off. So, I can be pissed too? Cuz I am!!! I guess he wont be home this weekend like he said he was going to be. He has to go to Bellingham and report to the armory and then try and transfer to Spokane's unit. That should be exciting. I'd really like to go with him, but I really can afford to take another day off since he does't seem like he wants to find a job. If he doesn't find a job, we wont make rent. I can only work so many jobs. I'm currently working 2 and he doesn't like the fact that I have to babysit at 4 in the morning 3days a week. Someone has to support the family, right? I'm so pissed that I could just scream. I guess that's enough bitching for one day. I'm sure I'll have more to complaine about tomorrow.

Current mood: pissed off

Tuesday, March 8, 2005

11:08PM - I have the internet!!!

It's been such a long time since I could update my journal cuz the lack of internet at my shit hole of an appartment. You'd think since eeen and I pay almost $700/month we'd have the best internet out there, but NOPE!!! I finally gave up calling the @$$ hole and asking him to come out and look at the connection. He never once called me back.
Anyways, Eeen's finally home!!! Just in time to say "good bye" again and ship him back to Ft.Lewis. I talked to him this morning and he said that he'll be home this weekend for good. I'm not holding my breath. Knowing the military they like to get your hopes up and then smash them into millions of little pieces.
Part of me wishes that eeen never even joined, but he did, and I kind of feel like it was my fault. Granted we were apart when he signed up, but he wanted to get far away from me as possible. He still hated me for what happened between us. The funny thing was, I hated him too. I just threw myself at other boys, and tried to forget about him. I did a pretty damn good job until he finally got the balls and called me. I couldn't get him out of my head from that day on. He wanted to be friends, so I figured I rather have him as a friend than not have him in my life. I guess deep down inside of myself I still loved him. I offered to take "worm cat" while he went off to Basic Training, knowing that when he'd get back he'd have to see me and get the cat. He agreed to let me watch Teir, and we started talking everyday. It was good to hear his voice again. Then one day he was acting a little strange (stranger than normal.), he was very quiet on the phone and that's not like him at all. He said he needed one more day to think about things and that he'd call me back in the morning. Deep down I had a feeling that he wanted to get back together, but I wasn't sure about it. I didn't want to get hurt again. I turned to my mother. My parents said that they were behind me 100% whatever decision I made. I had a lot of thinking to do that night. In the morning I couldn't sit still. He finally called and acted really shy. He hinted around the subject some more before I told him to just spit it out. There were quite a few "umm's" then he finally told me what was on his mind. He had been thinking about me, A LOT, and he realized that he still loved me and wanted to get back together. I WAS RIGHT!!! I got a huge smile on my face when he asked if I'd take him back, and I said "yes". I was so happy. I didn't know how this relationship would work since he was leaving for basic in a bout 2 weeks. Then I was really hit upside the head when he told me that he wanted me to start looking at rings. I was really confused at that point. I wasn't sure what type of rings he ment, until he said "wedding rings". Oh my god!!! I wasn't expecting that at all!!! I did what he requested and had no idea what the hell I was really doing. I knew nothing about diamonds. YES!! A girl who knew nothing about diamonds. Eeen came to Spokane to visit me in December, wanted to show me Bellingham, so we drove over for a few days. The day we left I asked him if we could stop by Deception Pass (it was in the movie The Ring, that was the first time he said that he loved me), and he had figured that we would anyways. As we got there the sun was setting and I thought in my head " what a wonderful romantic setting, a great place for a proposal". We got to the bridge and sure enough he did it. He started by saying a bunch of wonderful things about me and then asked me if he had to get down on one knee to do this. I shook my head no, and then he asked me to marry him. I'm sure you can figure out what my answer was.
It's hard to believe that in 2 weeks we'll be married a year. It sure has flown by, but then again in that year we've only been together maybe 2 months.

Current mood: happy

Thursday, August 19, 2004

8:25PM - update

Oh my! It's been so long since I've actually written anything. I left Bellingham, and moved back to Spokane to be closer to my family. I really liked Bellingham, but I was just to lonely over there. No friends and the only family I had left for Ft. Lewis. I was depressed, and very unhappy. Eeen wants to come home to me happy and healthy. I had to make a decision, did I want to stay and be unhappy or move and be happy. Of course I wanted to be happy, so I decided to pack up and move me and the dog across the state.
I was so stressed out that I bought a pack of smokes. I don't smoke. I only had half of one and I felt sick to my stomach. I probably should have told Eeen that I was stressed out, but I didn't. I regret it now. Eeen saw online that I bought something from The Smoke Shop in Bellingham, and questioned me about it. I felt so guilty that I started crying. With that he became worried about me. The last thing I want to do is make him worry about me while he's in the dangerous part of the world. He said he wasn't mad at me, but he didn't say that he wasn't dissapointed. I know that if he bought a pack of smokes I'd be dissapointed in him. I guess I'm dissapointed in myself.
I got to talk to Eeen last night. It was awsome. We talked for like hours. I didn't want to say 'good-bye'. He said that he's going to call again tonight, I can't wait.

Current mood: tired

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

12:04PM - This past weekend...

I haven't written in so long. This weekend was way to short!! I only got to spend Sunday with eeen, but hey at least it's better than not seeing him at all. I had to work until 10pm Saturday night, came home grabed the puppy and hit I-5 and headed to Ft. Lewis. A nice 2 hour drive in the rain always does a body good. Add a baby puppy on top of that and well... my drive wasn't so fun. I really hate driving at night, but I REALLY wanted to see my husband. hee hee We're married!!!:) I finally got to him around 1am, and we still had to check into a hotel, and somehow smuggle the dog in. We got to the hotel and checked in and then were informed that it was prom night! Drunk teenagers who reaked of pot running and yelling up and down the damn hallway. I was really tired. I finally fell asleep aroun 3am only having to get up and be out of the hotel by noon. Then we tried to get on base for a BBQ, and well we got on at Camp Murry, only to find out the gate that seperates Camp Murry to Ft. Lewis was shut and locked!!! We then attempted to get on Ft. Lewis, but couldin't without a visitor's pass. To get one of those you've got to have insurance on the vehicle, and well... we didn't. So, we called a taxi and paid $8 to get to the BBQ!! We got sick of the BBQ so we decided to head to Seattle to poke around. Well, we got off on 4th Street to find out that the Mariner's game just let out!! I wish people over on this side of the state knew about the "Don't block the intersection" rule!! That would have made life at that moment a LOT easier! We decided to go to Uijamaya, and just look at the stuff. The a good thing happened!! I saw that some of the apartments on top of Uijamaya were open. It would be awsome to live there!!! I found a web site that said the prices. I knew that they were going to be high, but I guess I didn't realize that they'd be that much money!! Of course the one I like is like $1800 a month!! They do alow pets. 1 dog up to 25 pounds (ours MIGHT hit 4 lbs.), and 2 cats. I want to live there!!! The apartment is a little bigger than 1100 sq. feet, has 2 beedrooms, and 2.5 baths. It's perfect!!! If only Eeen and I made more money!! I guess someday maybe I'll live there. Unless I can find someone who'd want to move in with a married couple. Yeah, eaiser said than done. I should get going.

Current mood: tired

Friday, May 7, 2004

5:22PM - It's official

I start work next Tuesday. I'm excited and nervious. I'm worried about the puppy. I don't want him growing up thinking it's okay to pee in the house.
I watched the Friends finale last night. It wasn't as good as I had hoped, but it ended happily. Part of me didn't want Ross and Rachel to get back together. I thought that if they got back together that Ross would go with Rachel to Paris. Instead Rachel decided to give up an amazing job in Paris for Ross. I'm sure I'd do the same thing. Wait, I kinda did. I droped everything and moved over to Bellingham just to be with eeen. Anyways, I thought that I'd cry during the show, but I didn't. I waited until eeen called and then started crying after he asked me about it. I know it sounds silly. It's only a show afterall. I don't know if I'm sad because it didn't end the way that I wanted it to end, or because there will NEVER be another "all new" Friends! Just call me a freak! I felt dumb about crying at the show, but eeen told me that he loves me for my heart. That brought a smile to my face. He asked me if I'd be able to come down and get him. OF COURSE!!! I would drive that far every weekend if it ment that I got to spend more time with him.
I went to my very first Family Support Group meeting yesterday. It was kind of sad. About 3 people showed up including me. I know that there are more than 3 soliders that belong to the C Co! I thought this thinger was to help other families through this hard ship and to become friends. How are you supost to become friends if no one shows up. My roommate said that all the meetings are like that. It's sad. How would the guys feel over in the "sand box" if they new that their families wern't being supportive to other families who might need the support? It just really pisses me off. We call ourselves Americans? The families of the soliders arn't even showing up to the meetings to hang out and get closer to other families. I think the soldiers would be really disapointed in their families. I'm going to do everything possible to be supportive of eeen while he's over there. In fact I went to the scrapbook store today and I got a few things. Not a lot. I spent under $20. I think I'll make little scrapbooks for all of the women in my family. That sounds like fun. Maybe a little expensive, but I've got eeen's money!!! hee hee
I should get going. Eeen will be calling soon.
Later

Current mood: artistic

Wednesday, May 5, 2004

8:24PM - The puppy....

Well I spoke to soon. I said that the puppy was having no problems using the "pee pad". Oops!! I woke up to poop on the floor at the end of the bed. Then this afternoon poop behind the door. This puppy training thinger is harder than it sounds. Okay, maybe it sounds hard. Really it's harder than it sounds. We played ouside again today, finally. The weather has been to bad to take him out in it. I tried yesterday and I put him on the patio and he just stood there and shook from the rain and the wind. Poor thing. I kinda feel sorry for the little fella. It's gonna take a few months to get him use to going potty outside. I just wish I had a few months to just hang around the house and do nothing. Wait, I had those few months. They're called March and April. Now, I've got a job. Kim said that she'd let him out when she'd get home from school this quarter, but what happens after that? Maybe he'll know how to hold it by then. I'm sure I'll still come home and find a few accidents. That would be awsome!!! I should go... eeen will hopefully call soon. There's laundry to fold, and of course the puppy needs attention. You can never give the puppy enough attention.
eeen, don't worry you haven't been replaced. Well... maybe you sorta have been, but I promise when you come home his spot in the bed is yours. Okay? love ya!
Later!

Current mood: sleepy

Tuesday, May 4, 2004

12:48PM - Good news!!!

Safeway called this morning and I GOT THE JOB!!! YES!! I have to come in on Thursday and take a drug test. I'll past that with flying colors. They want me to start on Tuesday of next week. Money!!!!!
I spent all weekend with eeen. That was awsome!!! However, it made it hard to say goodbye on Sunday night. Every time it gets harder and harder to say good bye. Before we took eeen back to Ft. Lewis we got a puppy. He's so cute and small. He's about the same size as eeen's foot. He's a pomaranian. I think that's how you spell it. For all of you that know eeen, he doesn't like animals with hair. Well... he let me get this one and their famous for their fur. I'm still not sure about a name, but eeen suggested "Ghetto Fabulous". I like it, but I'm not sure if I can yell it out when he's done something wrong. Any ideas? I gave him a bath this morning. OMG!!! Poor little thing. He's so tiny!!! He didn't seem to mind the bath once he quit shaking and warmed up. He doesn't like the blow dryer!!! hee hee. I should go. There are things that I need to do. Like potty train the puppy. There's a chore in itself.
Later!

Current mood: awake

Thursday, April 29, 2004

7:34PM - I might be stress free....

I had my job interview today. I think it went pretty well. I just talked to eeen. He's doing better today than last night. We were both stressed out about our money situation. I've got the entire thing straightened out. I don't need to stress out any more. Easier said than done.
I'm going down to Federal Way tomorrow to see my aunt who has a gymnastics meet. Then hopefully I'll be able to see eeen. If I don't get to see him on Friday, I'm going to try to see him Saturday afternoon. I'll just kick it around Federal Way and maybe hang out with Lindsey. Then go down and see him. I can't wait. In my head it feels like I haven't seen him in months, but it hasn't even been a week. This year thinger is going to kill me. Hopefully by then I'll have a job to keep me busy.
I don't really have much more to say. I should get off Josh's computer before he comes home. Friends is going to be on in a few minutes. It's the last 2 episodes! Come on people. I know what you're thinking. I'm not a loser. Okay maybe a small one, but you know what?!!! I'm eeen's loser!!!!!!

Current mood: calm

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

12:18PM - I've got a job interview tomorrow!!

I finally got a hold of the store manager at the Lynden Safeway. He said that he just got an email back from Dennis this morning and that the recomendation was really good. Dirry said that he just lost a checker because she's having a baby. He asked if I was able to come in tomorrow morning around 10am for a job interveiw. I said "of course!". Dirry also said that he'd have to start me out at entry level which is min. wage, but after 60 days he's required to honor my hours and my wage that I was making at the Safeway in Spokane. It will be a little higher wage here because of a different union and the cost of living over here is more. I'm so excited!!!! Hopefully in about a week I'll have a job.
I'm going to be as happy as a bug in a rug when eeen comes home. I'm not so stressed out about the money situation right now, but I'm sure I'll be pretty soon. Hopefully eeen's pay wont be so late this time. I don't think I can live and pay bills on only $7.15/hr for a month. Unless I'm working 40 hours a week, and even then it will still be cutting it close. I'm so excited that I might have a job!!!

Current mood: excited

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

9:13PM - I forgot my anniversary!!!

I talked to eeen tonight. I'm such a horrible wife. I forgot our very first anniversary as a married couple!!! He remembered last night and tried to call me around 11pm when I was talking to my mother, and I didn't click over (we have call waiting). I just assumed that whoever it was would call back. Well... he did, and I even forgot all day today that yesterday was our anniversary. Maybe they should take my wife license away. I figure I can make it up to him. I just assumed that it was always the man that forgets the anniversary. Not in this situation. I feel so horrible. When eeen brought it up this evening I started crying. I've always been big on our anniversaries, but this time I let the ball drop. He said that he could forgive me, I just hope that I can forgive myself. I know that there will be plenty more anniversaries, but this one was the FIRST!! And somehow I managed to fuck it up. I'd like to blame it on the fact that he left early that morning for Ft. Lewis, but I can't. I just don't want him to remember this down the road, and when we're in a huge fight him throw it back at me. I hope he wouldn't ever do that to me, but when people get mad at each other they say things that they don't really mean. My family is a huge example of that. I grew up with my parents yelling and fight with each other and always bringing up something that happened in the past that hurts the other person. I sometimes do this myself. I just hope that I never do it to eeen.
I called my friend Jessica after I got off the phone from eeen. It's her birthday. I remembered. WOW! That's amazing! I remembered something. It's not important as an anniversary, but does 1 month count as an anniversary? I guess it does to a newlywed couple. Anyways, she didn't answer her phone so I left a message saying that I hope she had a good birthday and told her not to do something that I wouldn't do.
I miss my friends. They have all either moved to Alaska or have just ignored me for the past 3 months. I guess now that I think about it I haven't been a real good friend to them either. Something about I met a boy and then they dissapear. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I did the same thing. Eeen came running (okay maybe not running, but it sounds good) back to me and I dropped everything and everyone to be with him again. Now that I'm living in a strange town the only person that I have has left to get ready for the sandbox. The only person I have here is :speeding ticket bear" and well.... he reminds me of the person that just left. So, it kinda makes it hard to even look at the bear let alone talk to it. Then again if I talked to it I might start worrying about myself. I'm talking to a giant Care Bear who can't hear or understand me.
Somehow I'll get through this year that eeen is gone. I might have multiple personalities when he gets back, but as long as I'm happy that's all that matters...right? I wanna be happy. It just might take a little while for me to get there. Hopefully it wont come through on my emails to eeen or the time that I get to talk to him on the phone.
I know it's normal to miss the person you love if they've left to go to some strange place. I just wanna try to be normal. I wonder how Kim gets over the fact that Randy is in an whole different world. That's right she goes shopping, and never comes home with out a bag. If only I had that kind of money!!
I'll talk to you later.
I love you eeen!!!

Current mood: guilty

1:10PM

eeen left yesterday morning for Ft. Lewis. I miss him already. He's only been gone a day, but I really do miss him. I talked to him last night before I went to poetry. He sounded okay, but I knew that he was missing me already. Not much is new with me here. I've been driving his car around town and trying to get use to driving a stick shift car. That's a chore in itself. I haven't been doing to bad. I haven't hit anything yet. Yet being the key word.
Poetry was okay last night. It just didn't seem the same without eeen there. It felt like something was missing, so I left early. I talked to Mom last night after I got home. She wants me to move back to Spokane and work for her making choclates. I might end up eating more than I make. hehe I don't want to move back to Spokane!! It's so boring there. No really big mountains, like Mt. Baker, and no ocean!!! I know I'll go back and visit, but I sure as hell don't want to live there again!! I'll just stay here in September and tough it out. How hard could it be to find a 2 bedroom apartment to rent? Hopefully not to hard. The moving of all the shit will be the bitch.
I should go. There's things for me to do. I think.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

9:23AM - It's all good

I GOT IT!!! eeen still feels sick. That's normal for someone who doesn't drink that much and then goes and drinks 11 beers by himself. He finally left the bathroom at around 2 or 3 am and came to bed. I really don't like seeing him this way. I'm glad he doesn't drink that often, or I'm sure we'd have a real problem. I honestly don't know if we could ever be together if he had a drinking problem. I don't drink that much, but I really don't want to deal with a drunk all the time. I love him dearly. I don't want to lose him to something so stupid.

Current mood: thankful

12:12AM - BBQ

Well...today eeen found out that he's been working at the Armory for free since the 15th of April. Since he doesn't have any orders, he really shouldn't be. So, because he was kinda pissed him and the other guy working with him, Foster,was pissed too they decided that we should have a BBQ. Well... there was drinking involved, and well, eeen doesn't drink he ended up getting sick. He's in the bathroom puking as I type this. Poor baby. I guess he brought it on him self. He didn't really have to drink 11 Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonades, but he did. Casey called tonight, and when I talked to her she knew right off the bat that eeen was drunk. She was only joking when she asked, but I answered yeah and laughed. I knew he was going to get sick, I just didn't know it was going to be this soon. I've never seen him like this, and I really wish I hadn't. This is an eeen I don't like. But how do I tell him that? He doesn't drink that offten if at all. I hate having to repeat myself to him and he still doesn't understand what I'm saying. Maybe he thinks he understands, but really he thinks that we're having a completly different conversation.

My "friend" was suppost to come today, and well... it didn't. I'm scared. I'm taking my pill like I should be. I want kids, I know eeen wants them too, eventually. Eventually being the key word in that sentence.I just don't want to have a kid while eeen's away. That would really suck. He'd miss the entire time that I'm pregnant. Maybe that would be a good thing for him. I'd want him there by my side helping me through this time of my life. I hope that he would want to be there too. I know that I'm really to young to have a kid, I guess I've got to take what's given to me. I know eeen's going to read this in the morning, I just don't know how to tell him. If I told him right now, I don't think he'd understand what the hell I was saying. He would probably think that I'm asking him about his Class A's again. What the fuck does his Class A's have to do with my period being late?!!!hehe I guess I'm just overall worried. Our parents would be so happy to hear and see that we're having a child. I'm just stressing myself out. I thought these sort of things were suppost to be on time if you're taking the pill! Maybe I'm wrong. I'm no doctor. I should ask Casey. She'd know. I've got to tell eeen about this. I'll tell him in the morning. Maybe I'll have it by then. God I hope so!!!

I should go. There's a sick boy in the bathroom who might need me. He owes me big time!! The way that he can pay me back is by being my husband for the rest of our lives. I'll write more later.

Current mood: worried

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

11:48PM - BBQ

Well...today eeen found out that he's been working at the Armory for free since the 15th of April. Since he doesn't have any orders, he really shouldn't be. So, because he was kinda pissed him and the other guy working with him, Foster,was pissed too they decided that we should have a BBQ. Well... there was drinking involved, and well, eeen doesn't drink he ended up getting sick. He's in the bathroom puking as I type this. Poor baby. I guess he brought it on him self. He didn't really have to drink 11 Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonades, but he did. Casey called tonight, and when I talked to her she knew right off the bat that eeen was drunk. She was only joking when she asked, but I answered yeah and laughed. I knew he was going to get sick, I just didn't know it was going to be this soon. I've never seen him like this, and I really wish I hadn't. This is an eeen I don't like. But how do I tell him that? He doesn't drink that offten if at all. I hate having to repeat myself to him and he still doesn't understand what I'm saying. Maybe he thinks he understands, but really he thinks that we're having a completly different conversation.

Well, my "friend" was suppost to come today, and well... it didn't. I'm scared. I'm taking my pill like I should be. I want kids, I know eeen wants them too, eventually. Eventually being the key word in that sentence.I just don't want to have a kid while eeen's away. That would really suck. He'd miss the entire time that I'm pregnant. Maybe that would be a good thing for him. I'd want him there by my side helping me through this time of my life. I hope that he would want to be there too. I know that I'm really to young to have a kid, I guess I've got to take what's given to me. I know eeen's going to read this in the morning, I just don't know how to tell him. If I told him right now, I don't think he'd understand what the hell I was saying. He would probably think that I'm asking him about his Class A's again. What the fuck does his Class A's have to do with my period being late?!!!hehe I guess I'm just overall worried. Our parents would be so happy to hear and see that we're having a child. I'm just stressing myslef out. I thought these sort of things were suppost to be on time if you're taking the pill! Maybe I'm wrong. I'm no doctor. I should ask Casey. She'd know. I've got to tell eeen about this. I'll tell him in the morning. Maybe I'll have it by then. God I hope so!!!

I should go. There's a sick boy in the bathroom who might need me. He owes me big time!! The way that he can pay me back is by being my husband for the rest of our lives. I'll write more later.

Current mood: worried

4:52PM

i'm in hufflepuff!

be sorted @ nimbo.net

3:41PM - Boy

In just about 4 days from now I have to say "goodbye" to my boy. He went and joined the National Guard. He's heading over to play in the giant sandbox we call Iraq. He's not actually going to Iraq, but somewhere close to there. How come a year seems so far away? I love him with my entire heart, I just don't want to lose him again. I just got him back, and now he's got to leave. He's afraid that "Jody" is going to take me away from him. I keep telling him that he's the only man for me, I wish that he'd understand that I'm not going anywhere.
I'm gonna try to go back to school this summer. Maybe I'll meet some people here in Bellingham. I have no idea what kind of classes I might take, but I know I've got to go back. Maybe a scapbooking class. Do they offer that at the community college? I'm sure it's gotta be a class. Right?I've got to find something that will keep me busy and make me happy.

Current mood: sad